You're my little dorito
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
