May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
