I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
