How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
