What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
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I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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