woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
