her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
