He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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