K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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