Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
whose parrot is this?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
