i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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