I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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