The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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