I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
