Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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