this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
