FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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