Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
