Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize