No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
