She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
How's work?
Spinning.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
