This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
