drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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