I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
