So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
