ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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