the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
