Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
