make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
