I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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