lets start a swedish sibling band together
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
