DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm getting married
To pizza
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
