Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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