Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
