ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
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So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
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Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.