Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just had sex on a roof
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..