K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back