Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger