obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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