Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
