ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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