I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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