I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
