i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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