There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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