Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
