I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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