my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
