if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Who died my cat blue again?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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