the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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