i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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