So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
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recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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