Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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