I wish I could teleport
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
