Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
