i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
