A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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