It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
