Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
