her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
