Sry I called you an 8
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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