they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
